Noble Parenting: What a Father Tells His Sons

As my boys get older, I find my role as their father evolving. When they were babies my primary concerns were that they be safe, secure and have dry diapers. As they grew from babies to children I began to concern myself with their security, happiness, education and spiritual growth. Luke 2:52 was the paradigm for me. Yes, I also enjoyed the agony and ecstasy of living vicariously through their achievements in sports and extracurricular activities. Now at ages 22 and 16 both my sons are on or near the edge of manhood. I have often joked that parenting is terminal! It surely is just that but I find myself at another point of adjustment. I am having to learn to let go, especially with my college senior. Responsibilities and distance require I do so. I don’t see him every day now. I am learning new dimensions of trust: from him as he begins a life of responsible adulthood, career-building and ministry. I’m learning to trust that the spiritual guidance his mother and I provided grows fuller over a lifetime of opportunities and challenges. And most importantly, I am learning a further dimension of God Himself, His Word and prayer.

As both my boys (they’ll still be that when I’m ninety!) stand on the edge of manhood, here is my prayerful challenge to them:

Love God. I want them to love God completely, totally. Deuteronomy 1:36 says Caleb would inherit the Promised Land because: ‘he followed the Lord completely.’ The essence of the Hebrew language here says Caleb essentially “saturated himself” with God. That’s how I want my sons to live.

Do as you please. This first two are a quote from Augustine: Love God and do as you please. If held properly in balance I believe it is possible to have a life of faith, and passion for our lives. My prayer is they find it and live it!

Be Happy. I don’t want to sound like Morgan Freeman in The Bucket List but I want my sons to find “joy in their lives.” It won’t be found in our career achievements or material things but in our relationships with family and friends.

Don’t let other’s define you.  This took me a long time to learn this lesson. At one point in my life I wanted to be the next Mickey Mantle, Roger Staubach, Bobby Fisher and Wayne Allen (my home church pastor). But I’ve learned God only wants me to be the best Mike Tucker I can be. I want my boys to know this truth: Who you are in Jesus Christ is good enough! Don’t let anybody else derail you.

Follow Your Dreams. Life is no dress rehearsal. Go for it! Live life to its fullest. Figure out how to make your dreams a reality.

Run to the Sound of the Guns. Be courageous, put yourself out there to help people. Compassion and courage will allow you to impact many people in positive ways. My prayer is that my sons be those kind of men.

Marry your best friend. Like your old man. Apart from Jesus, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

Love,

Dad

Dr. Howard Hendricks (1924-2013) Mentor from Afar

This week Dr. Howard Hendricks entered the gates of glory. The longtime professor at Dallas Seminary died this week at the age of ninety. I didn’t attend DTS, never heard him speak in person and just met him years ago as I was browsing the DTS bookstore. Yet he was a mentor to me, even from a distance. Through his articles and books he shaped my leadership skills more than any individual outside Harry Piland and Wayne Allen. With a ministry spanning over sixty years he influenced thousands of pastors, missionaries and Christian educators. And I count myself among those.

How appropriate it was that the passage for his last chapel address at DTS was from 2 Timothy 2:15: ‘Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who doesn’t need to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth.’ (HCSB). Not only is that verse a wonderful epitaph for Dr. Hendricks, it’s also his legacy!