Noble Parenting: What a Father Tells His Sons

As my boys get older, I find my role as their father evolving. When they were babies my primary concerns were that they be safe, secure and have dry diapers. As they grew from babies to children I began to concern myself with their security, happiness, education and spiritual growth. Luke 2:52 was the paradigm for me. Yes, I also enjoyed the agony and ecstasy of living vicariously through their achievements in sports and extracurricular activities. Now at ages 22 and 16 both my sons are on or near the edge of manhood. I have often joked that parenting is terminal! It surely is just that but I find myself at another point of adjustment. I am having to learn to let go, especially with my college senior. Responsibilities and distance require I do so. I don’t see him every day now. I am learning new dimensions of trust: from him as he begins a life of responsible adulthood, career-building and ministry. I’m learning to trust that the spiritual guidance his mother and I provided grows fuller over a lifetime of opportunities and challenges. And most importantly, I am learning a further dimension of God Himself, His Word and prayer.

As both my boys (they’ll still be that when I’m ninety!) stand on the edge of manhood, here is my prayerful challenge to them:

Love God. I want them to love God completely, totally. Deuteronomy 1:36 says Caleb would inherit the Promised Land because: ‘he followed the Lord completely.’ The essence of the Hebrew language here says Caleb essentially “saturated himself” with God. That’s how I want my sons to live.

Do as you please. This first two are a quote from Augustine: Love God and do as you please. If held properly in balance I believe it is possible to have a life of faith, and passion for our lives. My prayer is they find it and live it!

Be Happy. I don’t want to sound like Morgan Freeman in The Bucket List but I want my sons to find “joy in their lives.” It won’t be found in our career achievements or material things but in our relationships with family and friends.

Don’t let other’s define you.  This took me a long time to learn this lesson. At one point in my life I wanted to be the next Mickey Mantle, Roger Staubach, Bobby Fisher and Wayne Allen (my home church pastor). But I’ve learned God only wants me to be the best Mike Tucker I can be. I want my boys to know this truth: Who you are in Jesus Christ is good enough! Don’t let anybody else derail you.

Follow Your Dreams. Life is no dress rehearsal. Go for it! Live life to its fullest. Figure out how to make your dreams a reality.

Run to the Sound of the Guns. Be courageous, put yourself out there to help people. Compassion and courage will allow you to impact many people in positive ways. My prayer is that my sons be those kind of men.

Marry your best friend. Like your old man. Apart from Jesus, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

Love,

Dad

Dr. Howard Hendricks (1924-2013) Mentor from Afar

This week Dr. Howard Hendricks entered the gates of glory. The longtime professor at Dallas Seminary died this week at the age of ninety. I didn’t attend DTS, never heard him speak in person and just met him years ago as I was browsing the DTS bookstore. Yet he was a mentor to me, even from a distance. Through his articles and books he shaped my leadership skills more than any individual outside Harry Piland and Wayne Allen. With a ministry spanning over sixty years he influenced thousands of pastors, missionaries and Christian educators. And I count myself among those.

How appropriate it was that the passage for his last chapel address at DTS was from 2 Timothy 2:15: ‘Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who doesn’t need to be ashamed, correctly teaching the word of truth.’ (HCSB). Not only is that verse a wonderful epitaph for Dr. Hendricks, it’s also his legacy!

 

Churchill on Leadership

Ten Great Quotes

Someone observed that history is biography. We can understand history by understanding the men and women who make it. I believe the same can be said of leadership. By studying leaders we can learn leadership practices and principles that apply to any age or organization: nations, companies, armies and churches. As a serious student of both leadership and history I have come to believe that Winston Churchill was the greatest leader of the twentieth century. In the critical events: World War I & II, the Depression, the rise of Nazism and the beginning of the Cold War, he is perhaps the leading figure. This man whose mother was an American has been voted as the “Greatest Brit ever.”

Having been a student of Churchill for the last forty years (I started early) I recently discovered a wonderful work for all lovers and students of The Man of the Century. Richard Langworth, editor of Finest Hour, the newsletter for the Churchill Center, has compiled a book of over 600 pages of quotes from Churchill’s speeches and writings, entitled Churchill By Himself (public Affairs, New York, 2008). Churchill’s daughter, Lady Soames wrote the foreword and Sir Martin Gilbert, Churchill’s official biographer wrote the introduction. It is a unique book compiled by only one of the few people who could have done so.

In this post I will share ten quotes from Churchill that relate to the concept of leadership principles and practice. The meaning of his words are clear and do not need any commentary from me:

1.      “We must be ready, as we always have been ready, to take the rough with the smooth.”         March 17, 1941

 

2.      “How useful it is in great organizations to have a roving eye.”     1952

 

3.      “No one is compelled to serve great causes unless he feels for it, but nothings is more certain than that you cannot take the lead in great causes as a half-timer.”                                                             May 9, 1936

 

4.      “I would sooner be right than consistent.”             1940

 

5.      “There is great danger in trying to have things both ways.”        February 15, 1951

 

6.      “There is no use once again leading other nations up the garden and then running away when the dog growls.”                                  January 8, 1937

 

7.      “It is wonderful what great strides can be made when there is a resolute purpose behind them.”                   May 7, 1947

 

8.      “In life people have first to be taught ‘Concentrate on essentials.’”         1952

 

9.      “To build may have to be slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.”                September 29, 1959

 

10.   “The great thing is to get the true picture, whatever it is.”          November 24, 1940

 

I pray that these quotations may challenge, inspire, inform and cajole us to be better leaders.

Middle School Lockers and Churches

I hated my middle school……at least the first three weeks. The problem was my locker. Yep, I was one of those kids who couldn’t get it opened. I really struggled at it (my wife and kids will tell you I still do). Until I finally figured it out, I had no where to put my stuff! Now as a fifty-something I’m back in middle school, supplementing our ministry income working as a disciplinary teacher at a local middle school. One of the first things I’ve noticed is that the school lockers are still there. They look good, they’ve held up well…..until I found out why. NOBODY USES THEIR LOCKER ANYMORE! Now everyone has a backpack to keep their stuff.

It struck me recently that many churches in North America are like middle school lockers. It’s all about me, mine, my stuff, my room, my program, my property. Here’s the problem with these kinds of churches—they will end up like middle school lockers today—looking good on the outside but empty inside.

I’ve identified at least four characteristics of these churches:

First, members are more concerned about property, programs and preferences than the people in the community. I once served in a church with that mind set. It was indeed all about ME, ME, ME, ME! Mine & Thine! Too many churches have lost touch with the needs of their community. They are still operating their ministry out of an outdated 1950’s-60s model. It’s all about their stuff. Heaven help the pastor or staff member that messes with their stuff. We need to realign ministries and recalibrate strategies to face new realities.

Second, religious appearances count more than authentic faith. Far too often these churches have cookie cutter spirituality and condemn anyone who feels led to live and do something different. The reason this occurs is we have forgotten to teach, model and expect Christians to practice spiritual disciplines.

Third, in these church cultures rules and regulations are more important than grace and forgiveness. Many churches have become bureaucracies—i.e. fill out this form in triplicate if you need a room, bus or resource. I understand the importance of planning & accountability but let’s not lose focus!

Finally, these churches are permeated with an US vs. THEM mentality. Some churches are actually hostile to groups of people God is sending right into their own neighborhoods. It makes me miss the Cold War!

What should you do if you find yourself serving in one of these churches? GO SUBVERSIVE. Initiate little acts of kindness and mature spirituality to those around you. Remember we all live in ‘enemy territory.’ Don’t let others define your spirituality or your mission. Start where you are. Gather like-minded people around you. Go for it!

Leaders are Readers

What are you reading? For pleasure? For professional development? For spiritual growth? Leaders are life-long learners. Leaders are life-long readers. Tell me what your reading and I’ll know a great deal about your leadership skills. I love to read. It’s how I learn. Give me the instruction book and leave me alone if you want me to put something together. Some books are quickly read and forgotten, some should be kept for reference. Other books are like loved ones or old friends who return for a visit after a long interruption. I began this year reading for pleasure, professional development and pleasure.

Book’s I’m reading for pleasure: I am reading five books currently for pleasure: three biographies, a recent new survey of the Second World War, and a chess classic:

Jon Meacham’s Thomas Jefferson: the Art of Power, Random House, 2012. I always enjoy Meacham’s books and this is no exception. In this new biography, Meacham describes the tension between Jefferson’s principles and his pragmatism. How Jefferson practiced leadership and used the levers of power is instructive for leaders at all levels today.

William Manchester & Paul Reid, The Last Lion: Winston Spencer Churchill, Defender of the Realm, 1940-1965, Little Brown and Company, 2012.  Having read the first two volumes of this trilogy I have waited for nearly 25 years for this final volume. Alas, Manchester died and it was completed by his friend Paul Reid. This final volume covers Churchill’s life through the first time he became prime minister during World War II until his death. All WSC did during this period was defeat Hitler, Hirohito, write his memoirs, and win the Nobel Prize for Literature for his five volume history of The English Speaking Peoples. Otherwise, he didn’t accomplish much. This final volume is worthy of the man called the “greatest Briton ever.”

The final biography I’m reading (or will read) at this time is Thomas Kidd’s Patrick Henry: First Among Patriots, Basic Books, 2011. Kidd is an up and coming colonial historian of note and an important voice for young evangelicals today. Henry is one person all lovers of liberty should seek to know and understand.

I also plan to read, Andrew Roberts, The Strom of War, Harper Collins, 2011, a new survey of the Second World War. Roberts is no revisionist but provides a cogent narrative matched by faithful research and masterful detail. Since the death this past year of Sir John Keegan, a noted military historian, Roberts fills an important void.

This year marks the fortieth anniversary of my amateur chess career. I learned the game during the famous world championship match between Bobby Fischer and Boris Spassky. For several years my youngest son has been a serious student of the game. Now the pupil is outpacing the teacher! He is one of the best chess players his age in North Texas. He beats me two-thirds of the time. So now I have to change and upgrade my game. That’s why I’m spending time this winter with an old friend, I. A. Horowitz’s Chess Openings: Theory and Practice, Simon and Schuster, 1964. I have to remind myself I’m reading for pleasure and that I’m tired to getting the stuffin’ beat out of me. J

Books I’m reading for professional development: Like many others, I challenged my readers that the Church in the USA must re-think and re-deploy our strategy for cultural engagement. I’m not sure what we need to do to go forward. I only know that what we’ve done, ain’t working.  So I’m working through two books I hope will help be able to articulate a new strategy: Will Mancini, Church Unique: How Missional Leaders cast Vision, Capture Culture and Create Movement, Jossey-Bass, 2008 and Donald A. Carson’s, Christ and Culture Revisited, William B. Eerdsmans, 2008. I’ll be sharing insights and reactions on this blog as I work through these two books.

Spiritual Development: I am planning to teach a 10-12 lesson series from Deuteronomy in the spring entitled, “People of the Promise!” In preparation, I am re-reading another old friend, Peter Craigie’s The Book of Deuteronomy, Eerdsmans, 1976 in The New International Commentary on the Old Testament.

What are you reading? Let me know. Share it with others. Remember: Leaders are learners, learners are leaders.

Looking for Heroes in All the Wrong Places

Recently the Baseball Hall of Fame announced that no eligible candidates received the 75% of the votes necessary to be inducted this summer. There no were lack of qualified candidates: Barry Bonds, major league baseball’s all time leading home run hitter, seven time Cy Young award winner for best pitcher Roger Clemens, Raphael Palmero, one of only four players in all of baseball history with over 3,000 career hits and 500 home runs didn’t get in. (Willie Mays, Hank Aaron & Eddie Murray are the other three and all are in the Hall of Fame). Sluggers Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire didn’t get in either. Why did none of these former players get in?

The stain of the steroid era. They cheated, or least there is a very high likelihood they cheated.

I wished that were one part of this sorry story about our culture. But it’s not.

Lance Armstrong, the Dallas native and seven-time winner of the Tour de France, finally admitted what everyone had suspected for years and what the US Anti-Doping Agency reported last fall when they banned him from the sport: He cheated. Having beat brain cancer. He used illegal drugs and other techniques to gain an advantage over his competitors. He’s denied the allegations for at least fifteen years. He viciously attacked former friends, teammates and competitors who we now know spoke the truth: He cheated.

And now the bizarre story of Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o. It’s early in the news cycle on this story but it’s bizarre. This we know is true: his 72-year old grandmother died this fall. Then several hours later we were told that his girlfriend a student at Stanford, had died. Sports Illustrated, ESPN and the other major sports networks all reported this. Unfortunately, everything about the girlfriend was false. The Notre Dame Athletic Department once informed about this ‘hoax’ and immediately hired an outside investigator. They believe Manti was ‘catfished’ i.e. tricked by a sick joker into a ‘personal relationship’ through the internet and social media. Call me cynical but this smells worse than fish or relatives after three days. I’m sure no one thinks this had anything to do with his publicity campaign to win the Heisman Trophy as the best player in college football.

And finally, last week Subway Restaurants admitted that at times  their foot-long sandwiches were an inch too short! Can’t we trust anyone, anymore? Oh the humanity!

What’s the lesson here? It’s simple. Our culture looks for heroes in all the wrong places. Fame, celebrity and wealth doesn’t change the fact that we are  all fallen human beings. Celebrity only accentuates our faults. Sports, entertainment, and politicians will disappoint us.

Do we still have heroes today? Absolutely. In the Church they are legion: a pastor I know has served faithfully over fifteen years in a small town, 75 miles from a Wal-Mart; people like my Mother who served 22 years teaching second grade Bible study class; believers who faithfully serve God and worship Him every day. These are our anonymous heroes. No headlines. Just doing it.

But we also need public heroes to challenge and inspire us. The good news is we have them. We have them in abundance: If you know where to look.

In a day with an all-volunteer Army protecting our national interest around the globe, the men and women in uniform do heroic work, whether they serve in Afghanistan, the Pentagon or on a Coast Guard cutter in the Gulf of Mexico interdicting drug and/or human smugglers. They do what the vast majority of us will never do: place themselves (sometimes daily) between us and people who want to destroy us. Our cities and towns are served by ‘First Responders’: policemen, firefighters, doctors, nurses and others who run toward the danger, whether it be a crime, an accident or a natural disaster. It may include people who will come at their own expense to serve hot meals to a community hit by a hurricane, fire or flood. These are our heroes today.

Where else can we look to find real heroes today? The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut tells us we don’t have to look any farther than the schools in our community. At Sandy Hook we saw a principal, administrators and teachers place themselves between a madman and their students. We learned the principal ran to the sounds of the gun-----an act of courage that cost her life. That’s what heroes do. We still have plenty of them around.

You just have to know where to look.

Obama v. Romney 7 Lessons for the Church

The 2012 election is over. President Obama has been re-elected. This morning 59 million Americans are happy. 57 million are not. Count me in the last group. Cynics are already saying today is the first day of the 2016 campaign! (They may be right). But before we can look ahead, I believe we can learn from this campaign. Here are seven lessons for the church:

1.      We must recapture the City. Looking at a county by county map of the USA would tell us that the Red team should dominate. But the Blue team has won the last two national elections. Why? Because of the cities. Republicans and Christians don’t do well in high density populated areas. We must raise up a generation of Christian leaders with the skills to understand and exegete the cities as much as many of love to exegete Paul’s Letter to the Romans.

2.      We must let Ronald Reagan rest. Too many evangelicals keep looking for the second coming of President Reagan. It’s not going to happen.  Reagan’s America doesn’t exist anymore. I loved Reagan; in fact I think he’s one of the four best presidents in our history (Washington, Lincoln, and FDR, thanks for asking). But President Reagan has died. We should let him rest in history. The next conservative President will be able to speak to and motivate and build his own movement, not resurrect President Reagan’s.

3.      Don’t let other define you. The Obama team spent a third of a billion dollars defining Governor Romney. He did not or could not respond effectively. Winning candidates are usually the ones who can define their opponents. It this case as an out of touch rich guy who doesn’t understand your problems. This should be a warning to all pastors, staff and church leaders. Our culture will want to define you, usually into someone you are not: backward, Neanderthal, anti this or that. If you don’t respond many people will take your silence as acceptance. We must respond biblically, in a Christ-like way, like a velvet brick.

4.      Worldview matters. My values effect my voting. Too many Christians today want to compartmentalize and insist that their beliefs and their voting shouldn’t affect each other. I know that I am not a citizen of this world, but I also know that I am to be salt and light, to act justly, love faithfulness and to walk humbly with God.’ We must stay engaged. I believe the church can walk and chew gum at the same time. We must share the life transforming power of the gospel. We must also not surrender our voice to our culture or our country.

 

5.      Secularism is here to stay. The fastest growing segment in America are those with no religious preference. Not only is secularism here to stay, it is growing. This requires the church to take a long view. We need focus, discipline and discernment to know when to speak up, when to shut up, when to stand up and when not to. Because we can’t do everything does not mean we cannot do anything. Secularism is here. It’s growing. Deal with it in the power of His Spirit and Grace! I have great appreciation for the ministry of Richard Land, except whenever he forgets that he does not speak for all Southern Baptist. I have heard him for years describe his dream for America: the 1950s without the sexism and racism. This is vision is myopic. The American family no longer looks like Ward, and June Cleaver. (I don’t think it looks like Modern Family either!) We must face the forces of secularism grounded in biblical truth and unflinching reality.

6.      Discipleship and apologetics must be a priority. Transactional evangelism has led to the tragedy of transactional discipleship. Get a ticket out of hell, do the minimum required. Discipleship should be transformational as it flows from a gospel-centered transformational evangelism. To properly engage the world we live in we must do more than information transfer. We must develop leaders and believers within our churches with the ability to share, engage and do ministry in the world not just a classroom. This requires developing skills in the discipleship process.

 

7.      We must think strategically and act tactically. In another life, I spent five years as a political junkie and campaign consultant. I didn’t support the President’s re-elect but I certainly have to give his team kudos. They had a plan (strategy) and executed it (tactics). Far too often in our churches we focus on the strategic (plans, mission & vision statements) but neglect the tactical. It doesn’t matter if we say we want to reach people and grow our church if we neglect to do the little things and commit to the processes to make it a reality.

Remember that we live in a democracy, the people are sovereign. As Christ-followers, Jesus is our Sovereign. As the late John R.W. Stott reminded us we live and move and serve between two worlds. Try as we might we don’t do it perfectly. Not yet anyway.

I’m Mike Tucker and I approve this message! Tell me what you think.

 

Jump Start Your Spiritual Fitness, Part 2

Continuing our theme from last week there are a number of ways you can strengthen, freshen and jump start your own spiritual life. The key is to understand that it's you're responsibility, not your pastor's or your spouse. YOU MUST OWN IT! Let me offer ten more ways to enhance your daily discipleship with God:

 

Use a hymnal (or book of choruses) during your daily devotional. Sing them. Pray them. Focus on the great truths found in so many songs of our faith!

 

Go on a short term mission trip. You will receive so many more blessings than you can give. It's amazing, just try it!

 

Do an in depth Bible book study with others if possible, but technology makes it possible if you must do it alone. You'll learn how to study the Bible for yourself.

 

Develop a way to share your testimony with someone in 60 seconds! You'll be amazed at the opportunities you'll have.

 

Ask people how you can pray for them---then do it!

 

Adopt a city, nation or people group to pray for regularly.

 

Adopt a missionary (family) and pray for them each day.

 

Conduct a personal or family quarterly mission or ministry project. We did this when our kids were little and they had a blast doing stuff for others and learning early 'it's not about you or me.'

 

Sharpen your saw-----attend ministry training events at least a couple of times a year.

 

Ask your pastor or church staff member what you can do to help them---then DO IT!